Ok, so I went out eating/pubbing/clubbing and danced my ass off with a very pretty young lady only to find that she had a boyfriend. I don't know what I wanted... certainly I wasn't up for a one night stand... she didn't give that vibe at all, and there were lots of girls who would've [probably] been up for that.
I guess i just wanted approval from a girl. It's both sweet/endearing and pathetic at the same time. I wanted it because it makes me feel good, because sometimes I look externally for that "good enough" feeling, because I just want so badly to be loved and held and cherished and appreciated.
Ah crap. I had the inclination, just now, to call my ex. Then I had the inclination to listen to some Cold Play so I could cry. Then I thought that, maybe, it would be a good idea to call one of the new girls in my life -- so pretty, so sweet, so perfect in the bliss that is the potential before the reality of selfishness (hers) sets in.
You know what? Fuck that. I deserve a good girl who can make me feel that way -- appreciated, cherished, and loved. I give it back tenfold. Hell yeah. That's not even that much to ask. Someone who can't give that to me, well, just isn't that into me. Fuck that shite.
