A pre-birthday life tally

It's sad that I can actually draft something like this in only an hour. So much time, yet so little actually accomplished. Somehow most of the things on my resume are hardly even alluded to here.

And everyone who hears my story still looks up to me. Confusing.

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Good things I’ve done/accomplished

• Learned how to set (some) emotional boundaries
• Made a lot of money
• Helped out my little brother
• Helped out my Mom when she first left my dad.
• Helped out my Mom with financial and professional advice whenever she asked for it.
• Reminded Shane that his family/lifestyle/time is more important than working at a startup.
• Was there for Lauren R. when she was tearing herself apart.
• Inspired Serino – property owner!
• Inspired Rajpal – property owner!
• Inspired John T. – property owner!
• Inspired Joe B. – property owner!
• Been a good friend and confidant for Corban, Sam B., Ayla, and my brother Michael. To a lesser extent, to Kaitlynne, Vicki, Dustin, Serino, Lauren C., Rachel, and Shane.
• I was a good boyfriend to Laura D, Chrissy, and even Amanda. Perhaps less so to Amanda, because I caused a lot of drama that counteracted my good deeds. Still.
• I helped Mark S. come “out” years ago.
• Been a mostly positive and upbuilding guy to everyone around me at the gym.
• Overcome a broken vertebra to become stronger and even more athletic than before.
• Inspired Raman S. – benchpress/biz!
• Was a good skating partner to Jamie. I pushed, inspired, and applauded. We were synergistic.
• Was a good employee/team member for Patty P., Marty K., Larry M., Alice M., Elizabeth P., Bob V., and Wally W.
• Inspired Jeremy S. Bringing out his competitive nature still counts as inspiration.
• Inspired Don L. and Jonathan K., even if not quite as obvious.
• Inspired Sam B., too, I think. I can’t imagine him starting as many side projects as he has were it not for my influence.

"Sins"

• Hurt Lola, Sarah the optician, Marina, Martina, Susan, Lauren R., Alison K., Sarah the chemist, Alicia, Kim, and to a lesser extent, Destiny, Jeanette, and Amanda (the effort put forth counteracts most of the “sin”).
• Not put forth more of an effort to reach out to my mom.
• Ditto with my sister.
• Ditto with Larissa and Kelita, although because they are peers and have their own support networks, this is less of a “sin”.
• I could be a better friend to Shane. The overarching feeling that he is always judging me is probably more in my head than his.
• I could put forth more of an effort to reach out to god. Just because I have a very strong idea of what god isn’t (the anthropomorphized monotheistic god, especially) doesn’t mean I should turn my back so harshly on spirituality.
  

Should I include the never-ending self-study? Or getting over dad-hatred? Or studying religion indepently? Or getting into Davis and UA? Somehow these all fall a little short... sigh.