A girl named Robin

It looks like I'm getting the brush-off... while I'm inclined to wait a couple of days and see for sure, it's just not my way. The pattern of talking every day abruptly ended yesterday, and I've done the standard two attempts... I'm pretty sure that if you were still interested in me, I'd have heard from you at least lightly... a text message or an email, for instance.

Of course, if you're just really sick, or had to fly to Romania to rescue a long lost cousin, then... well, this will still seem really endearing. :-) And if you're sick, you shoulda called me so I could've come made some vegetable soup for you, damn it!

Anyway. I normally wouldn't bother writing something like this to someone I went out with twice, but I must admit I'm really confused. I like you a lot, and I thought that we had a lot of potential. I'm very disappointed that you didn't share my optimism. I found you beautiful, spunky, smart, graceful, and witty. I noted the similarities in how we experienced the socioeconomic chasm in our early years, the methods we've discovered to get ahead (my financial dodge-the-question routine was to avoid telling you I own ## houses, btw -- I could teach you a lot on that particular subject -- it's sorta my gold-digger avoidance policy), the shock of being on our own as a teenager, and the absence of a solid father figure. I saw how we're both sensitive people, scared of real intimacy because of our growing cynicism, yet wanting it so badly. And I saw that we both like the world around us and value the contributions we can make to it.

Most of all, I believed that we might (time would have told) be emotionally, intellectually, physically (wasn't making out heavenly? sigh...), and even financially compatible. The spiritual side... well, we never got that far, but 4 outta 5 was enough for me to have a lot of optimism. I know it's easy to dismiss the possibility after 10 hours on the phone and couple of dates, but what if? Seriously... the kind of connection we found just on the phone is not something that happens every day.

Now, in typical fashion, I've of course overanalyzed my behavior. Now, I certainly should have left Friday night... that's obvious at this point. But I didn't know any better, and I didn't actually hear from you that it was me... anyway. I felt really bad, but I didn't know what to do. Getting up and leaving might have offended you just as much as staying for all I knew... bleah. After Saturday I sorta just assumed that sleeping over would not be something we tried again for awhile. I guess I was right! (insert pouty, sarcastic face here -- the kind that breaks into a chuckle in half a second)

And then I thought about being late, but I think I'm ok with that... the golden rule applies, right, and I'd have been perfectly ok with that scenario if the roles were reversed.

What I'm finally left with is that I must've seemed too intense. The whole routine of spoiling you (food + massage = spoiling ;-) and calling you affectionate names so quickly... sigh. What can I say, I'm a driven, ambitious person, and when I see something I want, I go after it. I like you a lot... and I thought that you had similar feelings, so I didn't see any harm in it. (Ironically, if I wasn't that into you, we'd probably be chatting on the phone right now, since there'd have been no intensity. Bleah!)

I guess... the basic question I have is "what's the deal?" Did my intensity scare you? Did you like me too much, as in, if you let yourself, we'd move way to fast to the point of possibnly being unhealthy (that thought crossed my mind)? If so, are you still somewhat interested and just not sure?

Or, if you've decided with certainty to pass on exploring our potential as a couple, why? Was it something I said or did? Even if you never want to talk to me again, I would find your reasoning really helpful for my own personal growth.

I hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is, good luck in your travels, in your quest for love, and your financial success. I wish you only the best.

PS You know I'd have spoiled you rotten. In every way. ;-) We could have had an awful lot of fun together even if it didn't work out long-term.