i'm debating how much to write, because someday, somehow, someone I actually care about might happen to read this and it could conceivably hurt her feelings. Because if I do this often, eventually one of the girls I divulge information about will actually be important to me.
But it's fun, so fuck it. >:)
So I've seen Shonna twice now. She was my first date when I re-entered the scene last week. Good kisser, but it's been awkward. Cute, but there's a little SF elitist jumpin' up in the background. Pretty fun to hang with -- she's smart (masters degree from a 2nd tier almost-ivy school), but she grew up, by my accounts, with an almost-nuclear family and doesn't really know what it's like to really struggle. We talked briefly on our first date about how she was humbled by her difficulty in finding fulfilling work after grad school. I get it, of course -- lord knows I've been struggling with "purpose" all over the place, but riding my bike to the next BART station to save 30 cents just seems a little distant from not being able to get the perfect gig after blowing $100K on grad school. Plus she's got the standard late-20s, living in the city lifestyle, which means she's busier than shit. Wanting a boyfriend is not the same having time for one, ladies. I kinda want you at least two nights a week without scheduling a week in advance. I know, silly me. Some of my friends might even say hypocritical. But at least I manage half a dozen businesses. Most chicks who are "really busy" have just filled up their lives with hobbies. Which is fine, but where am I supposed to fit in?
But I digress. I like Shonna, but I worry because I haven't really let it all hang out. The Alfie manual says steady as she goes on this, of course -- at least until her first orgasm -- but the sorrowful little bitch inside me wants to just put it all out there and see if she still likes me.
Don't worry. I won't.
Who was that weird chick last week? I went out with her on a Saturday afternoon and was ambivalent. Then she pushed the issue and got all weird. By Tuesday I was writing her an email saying that she toppled me off my fence by being impatient. I cited the two day rule, and said that despite the cliche "I don't want to play games", the damn game exists for a reason. It's because it friggin' works. Every time I've stopped playing it... in my entire history, I think... it's backfired. Chick gets a big head, or just loses interest, or starts treating me bad. Selective unavailability, boys and girls. But not so much I can't remember your name, ok? See above paragraph.
Her name, her name... Tammy. That was it. She got all bent out of shape when I cited the two-day rule and told me I had no social skills. Ahem. I guess that's why she was jockin' for a second date and some alfie lovin'. Because I can't hold a conversation. (lol)
Ok. Then Monday I went out with Kelly. Great body, but she didn't show her age well. She was 25 and could have passed for 30. Sorry, hon. We had sushi, and the conversation ran kinda dry. I kept probing and she kept answering, with only some obligatory probing back. I think she wasn't accustomed to dating at all -- that all of her experiences had been hook-ups and the classmate/workmate boyfriends. But I, of course, because I have no social skills, chameleoned like I usually do, and gave the nonchalance right back to her. Weird. She invited me out for more that very night, but I declined because it involved athletics and I had an injury. Then I didn't kiss her goodnight (she wanted me to), and blew it even further by calling the next day. In my pea-brain at the time, I thought, "it will make up for not being agressive with the good night kiss", but alas, on further reflection, it just topped off the lameness. She hasn't called back.
Yes, even Alfie falters sometimes. But I'm out of practice, don't forget.
Shoot, I'm missing one... oh, Angela. I met her for lunch last Friday. Cute, but not my style. Great conversation, lots of things in common, no chemistry. I stewed on it all weekend and emailed her today, asking if she'd like to hang out as "just friends" sometime. She responded with a resounding "yes", so hey. I think I pushed the "no chemistry" card a bit during the date, actually. It's amazing how much shines through, isn't it? Even if you're genuinely interested in the conversation, but not so much in the girl, it's somehow communicated if she's paying attention.
I need to work on that skill. My chameleon abilities usually carry me, because women generally find me attractive, but it would be so much more pimp'n to actually manipulate how the girl feels about me by altering the vibe I'm projecting.
Plus then maybe I could alter my own consciousness using such a skill. Hmmmm. But again I digress.
Saturday I met Lola. Yes, another one. I don't know how many that is, now, so don't ask. Six or seven. Or eight. Whatever. Piss off.
She was great. Good vibe, sociable, very laid back. Very nice curves, into her work, lives in the east bay, sensitive to costs, and likes to cook. Good, good, goodness.
Saw her again Sunday night. It went well.
So, I'm over for dinner Sunday night, and I'm the only vagina fan at the whole damn table. Seriously. There were six of us: 4 girls, a gay guy, and me. whoo-hoo!! I felt sooo bad, though... Lola had a neighbor named Lauren who was fantastic. (I know, I know, it's not a fetish, I promise, it's just the way it works out.) I could tell she was likin' Alfie, too, but I was so very obviously Lola's date. I don't know how I could possibly work that out, but I'd like to. Lauren was feisty and petite, down to party, yet has a day job where "casual Fridays" are special. OMG. Sooo right up Alfie's alley. And look, she has the name. "Lola" is close, but "Lauren"?
(ok, ok... lemme think... Lauren C, Laura D, Lauren R, Lauren B, Laura from far away, Lola from yesterday... hmmm. Is that it? I feel like I'm forgetting someone... but I guess not. Six? I think I loved four of them, at least in my own way. Like I've said before, "the one" will probably have the same name. There's just as many Saras as there are Laurens, but I've only dated two of those!)
But, despite wanting to overtly flirt with Feisty Lauren, I played my cards the way they were supposed to be played, and thoroughly enjoyed Caring Lola's company. I'm definitely seeing her again soon. And no, not to cozy up to Feisty Lauren. Although if that happens, so be it. >:-)
I feel like I had another one... oh, right, tonight. Tonight I met Morgan, who reminded me thoroughly of my Aunt Debbie. Same wit: sharp, quick, and a little dark. Pretty positive in spite of some negativity in her childhood, slightly thick, great laugh, very down to earth, pragmatic. She's pragmatic even in things like relationships and honest about what her definition of love is (on at least the tidbit I got). All great stuff, certainly.
Except I'm not all that attracted to her. I even told her so, in so many words, telling her she reminded me of a maternal figure, which was really good in some ways, but really awkward in others. I told her I'd be down to go out again and take it from there. To "see if I got over my internal weirdness". Damn, I'm good.
Truth is, though, she's good peeps and I'd like to be friends with her, but I don't think I'll suddenly feel any chemistry. Despite the great time, she's no Lauren/Laura/Lola. Any of them.
I have a Brittany coming up in a couple of days. Pretty excited about her (hotness! :-)).
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