Negativity

Someone "told" me that a downer friend is no friend. That's bullshit. Fuck you. No warning, no comment, no constructive criticism. And you're supposed to be my friend.

Oops. Guess not. Guess I'm not good enough, or "up" enough, or positive enough.

Well, that's fucked up. You're NOT my friend. Maybe you never were. A friend pulls his buddy up.

A friend sticks around.

A friend announces when, how, and why if he needs to protect his boundaries. A friend who has sensitive boundaries shares them and asks his friend not to cross them. He doesn't just watch as they are crossed and then halts the friendship.

So, yeah, irreparable damage. I thought you were family. I thought you were around for a lifetime.

But, alas, you're... nothing but a girl. You leave for no reason. You leave when I actually need you. You leave when I believe you'll never ever leave, when the cynicism gives way to faith.

You leave. I come last, a footnote, a forgotten memory, a faint image, like a grainy vision or a distant shoreline in the fog.

You leave. And like all the other girls, I shall go on without you. I shall relish in my transactional relationships, whispering my negativity to the permanent record of the googlebot, alone with my superficial friends and the contracts they come with.

You will be added to the long list of people that left me for no reason. Who left me simply because I was me and shared all. Who promised and betrayed, who earned my trust and faith only to squander it, who, well, can suck a dick.

--

So, um, yeah. I miss my friend. But, frankly...

Fuck you all. Bitches.

--

PS This is for you, too, Ayla. Your paradise is never coming.