'nuff said.
Ok, not enough.
Another girl came and went before she even came. Heck. She may yet come. But she's a flake, and the future is not at all cogent in the way that I had been imagining this past weekend.
Heh. Not like I expected anything... just. Yeah. Let myself get a little carried away.
Easy pickin', she was. Easy. All I had to do was not actually like her.
Sigh. But whatever. When I read this a year from now, I won't event remember who this is about (RJF mean anything?). And that's fine. Because it really isn't that big of a deal.
Still. It is definitely one more whipping pushing me, yet again, in favor of being an asshole. None of this aggressive "let's hang out again, what are you doing, um, tomorrow" bullshit. More like "the only way you get to see me tomorrow is if you're cookin' me breakfast!"
LOL.
I don't want to be that guy. But he gets laid a lot more than I do. And is that happier...? I dunno.
Sometimes.
Sigh.
If the goal is simple being remembered, don't the girls you hurt remember you a lot better than the girls who thought, "wow, really nice, pretty cute, but way too intense. I'm not calling him back."
Yeeaaaaah.
The world is a backwards place.
I loved Kim. I put a lot into "us". And she hates me.
I was unwilling with Jill. And she remembers great sex and roller skating.
I loved Laura. And she remembers... something. I don't really know. I'm just mad that she's happy and I'm not.
I was careless with Sarah. And she remembers great sex and some good Madeira.
I loved Amanda. And she remembers "what was that about".
I was... eh. You get the picture. What do they remember? Are they really so hurt?
I know this argument is old, I know this has been said before, but maybe I keep coming back to it for a reason.
If there really is no hope for whatever fairy tale I fancifully believe in when I let myself forget how much it hurts when she eventually leaves, why not just have great lovers?
No comments:
Post a Comment